Vain + Alone 2​.​0

by Gregory Hoskins

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1.
I am yours to do your bidding
 It’s been this way since the beginning 
Now my hair is grey and thinning
 Do you need me anymore? I have watched the burning skies
 Through a coward’s eyes
Ignored the battle cries 
That are right outside my door. Stumbled drunk through love and joy
 Far too long the mannish boy
 But I’m ready to deploy 
Make me useful in a war. Make me useful, useful, You don't have to tell me what side I'm fighting for. Purify my ambition
 Sanctify my secret mission 
Make me Black Ops, cut the cord
 Deny that I was even in the war. Take my head out of the heavens
 Take my hands and make them weapons 
Hold me to the oath I swore
 Make me useful in a war. Make me deaf to my own voice 
I wont question any choice 
Coming down from the Commodore
 Make me useful in a war. Throw me in the line of fire 
Make me climb the razor wire 
Until my flesh is torn
 Make me useful in a war. Take my fear and give it edges
 Make me dance out on the ledges
 Make me hungry (humble), make me poor
 Make me useful in a war.
2.
Shadow 05:27
Oh, the wrenching loveliness Of my crooked flight The moist morning path From the door to the car That takes me away and back again The truth intact again: That I am a shadow Oh, the jarring tenderness Shown me from all points I am grateful for it all For every cut, every fall I am a shadow I am a shadow I am a shadow you will dance with I am the theory And the practice Oh the wrenching loveliness Of my crooked flight The moist morning path From the dark to the light I am grateful for it all For every cut, for every fall. I am a shadow I am a shadow I am the shadow you will dance with I am the theory And the practice Of Love.
3.
Pay The King 04:53
You cried when the river flowed Through the forest, not the field You cried when the fog lifted And you didn't like what was revealed You cried when the God you found You just as easily lost You cried when love came a callin' But you didn't like what it cost. You know we're gonna suffer It's just kind of our thing If you want your supper You know they're gonna make you sing Pay the King! Remember when you came to down a well And it was deep, and it was damp, and it was dark as hell And how you vowed you'd Never stumble like that again So explain yourself While we wait for help And the calvary of Saints it takes To save you again, To save you again.
4.
Witness! 04:38
My father is an orphan He is dying soon I am reminded one day I'll be an orphan, too I will be an orphan, too. The world don't mind It just carries on The unrepentant night The unrelenting dawn. Witness! what is best left unspoken And by that beauty be undone May a thousand times your heart be broken And may it be remade a thousand-and-one. My father is an orphan He is dying soon I am reminded one day I'll be an orphan, too I will be an orphan, too. Yes, I will be an orphan, too. One day I'll be dying, too.
5.
Mary, Mary, in the yard Mother Mary, standing guard Through the the trees the sunlight slips And lightly kisses Mary's lips Through the the trees the sunlight slips To steal a kiss from Mary's lips. He waited in rapture He watched her in wonder Step from the mouth of the church Into the dying day No sirens, no warnings No voice in the thunder Prepared his heart for What was coming his way. Mary, Mary, in the yard Mother Mary, standing guard Through the the trees the sunlight slips And lightly kisses Mary's lips Through the the trees the sunlight slips To steal a kiss from Mary's lips. As sure as a new day, The first blush of green on a shock of blue As pure as the bells from the steeple 'cross town Love comes for you As pure as the trill of the chickadee As sure as the sparrow flies to the hand of Mystery That makes all it falls on sing! Oh! Love comes for you! Get ready, get ready… Mary, Mary, in the yard Mother Mary, standing guard Through the the trees the sunlight slips And lightly kisses Mary's lips Through the the trees the sunlight slips To steal a kiss from Mary's lips. The birds sing, the sun dips To steal a kiss from Mary's lips Yeah, through the trees the sun slips And steals a kiss from Mary's lips.
6.
7.
Burden 04:16
In the wilderness of your childhood You seemed to have picked up a heavy rock You were a slow moving target anyhow No cock of the walk You carried that stone everywhere From the river to the town Across the valley to the mountains Without the smarts to put it down I know You were born free And you'll be free again When you lay it down Lay it down, lay it down When you lay your burden down You'll be free when you lay your burden down. Every step is laboured, Every dance looks awkward Under the weight of what you've been carrying It's impossible to believe In joy, or love, That's yours for the making Or a harbour to rest in For the work you're undertaking I know You were born free And you'll be free again When you lay it down Lay it down, lay it down When you lay your burden down You'll be free when you lay your burden down.
8.
Target 05:15
The air was thick with lilac On the day you were born And crouching there in the corner of the birthing room, The Assassin– Sworn to messing with your groove. There will be times you're under fire There will be times you're under fire And you'll lose you faith, lose your trust There will be times you will lock your heart away Ah, but don't' let the pad lock rust, Hang the chains loose. Oh, and if you have to fall from grace, Fall from grace with style. You're only dying to yourself And it's only going to be for a while, It's only for a while. In the midst of sweet disorder Veiled in bricks and mortar Standing like a coffin For the gifted, for the fallen, Is a monument to the broken, To the icons who have spoken Through the haze of drink and heroin, Crucified from thereon in Through paint, prayer, and poetry And Polaroid photography And croaking song, From the deep, dark, hungry hollow. Yes, at 23rd and 7th Ghosts leave chemtrails For you to follow. And if you have to fall from grace, Fall from grace with style. It's only dying to yourself And it's only going to be for a while, It's only for a while. If you have to be a target, be one, Be one that can move.
9.
Is it so bad? Is it not OK? It takes more than I have To not say I feel like I belong Here with my pauper's song I want to lay the whole night long At your feet. I wanna lay I wanna lay At your feet I wanna lay I wanna lay At your feet Where the air of surrender is so thick and sweet When I lay, when I lay at your feet. While my child, while my child, while my child Lay sleeping above me And the lady that loves me Worries the night away It's alright, it's alright I will be home soon When your heart drops its' last bloom And it lay at your feet.
10.
You took a lover That was not me With the desert heat done You lay down with the snake charmer's son You took a lover That was not me. I took a lover That was not you But don't feel bad You're the best that I've ever had I took a lover That much is true Oh, I know, I know I am supposed to be so cool But if truth be told The cool become cold, cold, cold And alone. So, I took a lover She took one, too. The years have been kind, I am hers and she is mine Two spoken-for lovers, Steadfast and true.

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A collection of new songs written between 2008 and 2017 and recorded at Dead Starling between July 2016 and August 2017.

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released February 26, 2017

Fabricated by Gregory Hoskins

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Gregory Hoskins Toronto, Ontario

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